Greatest Gadgets?

The other night I dipped in and out of a Channel 4 countdown of Stephen Fry’s top 100 Greatest Gadgets.

An interesting postulation and countless people jumped on Twitter to claim that the Internet was the greatest ever gadget. The fact that the Internet isn’t a gadget appears to have escaped them. Many others suggested things that either also weren’t gadgets as defined in the dictionary or weren’t actually invented by man, like the wheel for example. A wheel is simply a circle which is a natural feature that was just harnessed by man, along with the inclined plane, electricity, radiation and fire.

I have to agree with the item that Mr Fry chose as his number one: the lighter. The apple corer he demonstrated during the programme was brilliant but we could quite happily live without it. The impact that a handheld, on-demand flame could have on a person is life-changing. Fire sets us apart from the beasts and in lots of parts of the world, being able to control it is a valuable, hard-learned skill.

As an aside, in one of the celebrity talking heads that seem to be mandatory in programmes like these, Suzi Perry lauded the digital camera claiming that its ease of use means that “everybody can be a professional photographer”. What tosh. Just owning a digital camera doesn’t give you the experience to know how to light a scene, the eye to compose a shot, which lens to use or any of the myriad other things that are necessary to truly be a professional photographer. A dedicated website — as is so often the case — exists to highlight this: youarenotaphotographer.com

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London’s burning

Only in the UK could rioters in £100 trainers organising things on £300 smartphones claim to be in poverty…
- Wessel Sleeking

We are sold on the notion that wealth and fame are the be all and end all. A feeling of entitlement to certain things is widespread: a widescreen TV and the latest mobile phone. Consumerism instructs us — and I include myself in this — on the things that we absolutely need in our lives. A path to unearned fortune, like a Lottery win, is a dream we’re all guilty of hoping will happen upon us.

Today’s aspirational role models are by-and-large vapid celebrities and footballers. Reality television shows offer a route to temporary and fleeting fame for no discernable reason. Depressingly, becoming a footballer’s wife is the ambition of many a young woman.

There is the growing inequality between the family struggling to make ends meet and the unfathomably rich bankers. The rich keep getting richer while bonuses don’t exist for the common worker — who the bosses think should be thankful for having a job in the first place — and any proffered pay rise lag below inflation.

Yes, the youth feel disenfranchised but I have a sneaking suspicion that a large majority of those on the streets didn’t cast a vote at any of the last several elections and therefore, in some people’s eyes, have absolutely no right to complain. There is the understandable apathy towards politics with many of the view that only the interests of the super-rich and big industry will be looked after.

Several of the current crop of government know a thing or two about laying waste to small businesses and premises through their days of dining with the Bullingdon Club. The riots have spawned reactionary comments from people with no experience of rioting, policing methods or crowd control: “Bring in the army!”, “Shut down Twitter!” — exactly the same actions that people were demanding mustn’t happen during the Arab Spring uprisings in the Middle East.

Admittedly, these were valid protests against brutal regimes, a lack of democracy and human rights violations. What we’ve seen on the streets of London and elsewhere is basic criminality. I’m not for a second condoning the appalling scenes of the last few nights but peaceful protests in this country are heavily policed and soon forgotten — if they are even noticed at all.

People feeling marginalised by unemployment, labelling, low prospects and benefit caps that fundamentally equate to social cleansing has led to a tinder box mentality. Something that was waiting for a spark to unleash the pent-up aggression. The shooting of Mark Duggan provided the excuse but this was purely circumstantial and could have been anything.

People who say that nobody saw this coming are wrong. The signs and associated commentary were there over a year ago.

I’m only surprised that it happened so soon.

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Home

This is another post topic taken from The Daily Post: Describe your dream house (cost and location are no issue).

House prices (like most financial things) confuse me. I’m of the opinion that it boils down a huge Government-sanctioned Ponzi scheme. I now wish I’d been irresponsible a decade ago when banks and building societies were doing the same and were practically falling over themselves to give people 125% self-certified mortgages. A house should be a place for living and not seen as an investment.

Some people want to leave their mark on the world. I want to do the exact opposite: to leave none, to have a positive impact on the planet. My ideal home wouldn’t be carbon neutral — it’d be carbon negative. I like to think I’ve got decent tastes and I know that Juliet certainly does and she would be on hand to keep any of my more silly ideas in check. I intensely dislike the Manchester United player Gary Neville as a footballer but his environmental attitude and plans for his new home are admirable — if not a little funny looking!

My ideal house would be more conventional in design and be mainly self-sufficient. It would be situated near a stream so I could operate small-scale hydro. The addition of a helical wind turbine and solar PV on the south-facing roof surfaces would generate more than enough electricity for us which we could then sell back to the national grid on a feed-in tariff. There’d also be solar heating panels, ground and air source heat pumps for underfloor heating and a hopper-fed biomass pellet boiler as a backup to keep us warm.

Making the best and most efficient use of our generated power is also high on my list. As this is just fantasy and money is no object I’d insulate the building with Aerogel and have triple glazing with insulated frames. LED lighting would be installed throughout with A+++ rated appliances.

Water is another consideration. I’d set up rainwater harvesting, a grey water system and install aerated showers with heat exchangers. In order to keep food miles to a minimum there would be herb and vegetable gardens, a solar tunnel and hydroponicum, an orchard, apiary, and keep chickens and goats.

All this goes to show just how much technology has been developed to address our impact on the planet. We need to start using it.

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Spend spend spend!

I didn’t win the EuroMillions lottery jackpot this week and will be back at work on Monday.

Truth be told, I would certainly not go public with the news that I was almost £162 million pounds better off. I’d carry on working for a while until the mystery had died down and people had largely forgotten about it all — the stories of ruined lives are all too commonplace in the tales of lottery winners. Still, it’s somewhat difficult to feel too sorry for them.

Had I beaten the ludicrous odds I’d like to think that I’d be able do some real good in the world and not fritter it away on frivolities like a luxury box at a football ground 1,200 miles from my house.

Obviously with a win of the magnitude that has just been claimed, allowing yourself some indulgences would be a matter of course. Seeing that family were taken care of would be very closely followed by a splurge: several things from the Apple Store, Charvet shirts, a handmade Pinarello and a nice holiday would all be on the cards.

However, any similarity to Brewster’s Millions would be short-lived.

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The choice of a new generation

I remember reading an interesting discussion topic a while ago which I’ve only recently rediscovered and given new though to as I continue to get used to the idea of being a parent. This AskReddit thread raises the point that our children’s views will likely be very different from ours. Racism and homophobia were commonplace in a grandparents and parents eras. Which of our widely-held opinions will our children find disagreeable?

Religion? Eating meat? Capitalism?

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Fears

Along with the standard fears of most fathers-to-be, I’m also finding myself worried that I won’t understand the technologies that will be around in 10 years time that my child will take for granted. I don’t want to experience the future equivalent of the permanently blinking VCR clock. VCRs? I feel older already.

We’re at an exciting time in the world of material sciences with the recent developments of carbon nanotubes and graphene. Some amazing things that you may think are futuristic — like Aerogel — have actually been around since the early 1930s.

Will our children get to live in a world of space elevators, invisibility cloaks, portable holes and — dare I even think it — personal jetpacks and flying cars?

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Saturation

Just over a year ago, before the Guardian “retired” their local beatblogger experiment, Tom Allen asked the question that more and more people still seem to be asking themselves: How many supermarkets do we really need?

Despite the protests, planning approval was granted and a new Tesco store opened at the start of the year. At the end of this month, the first associated closure is imminent.

There was a similar outcry here in Stockbridge when a Sainsbury’s Local opened up its doors. Lots of concern was voiced for the viability of local traders — although not to the extent of the anti-Tesco demonstrations in Bristol.

Things have certainly changed and not entirely for the worse. For a start, the local asian comestible stores have been forced to up their game. No longer can they get away with chatting away on the phone to their relatives in Pakistan or India, paying you scant regard. I’m not resorting to cheap stereotypes here, this is a common experience for a lot of people. It’s frankly a pleasure to experience friendly, genuinely helpful staff instead of being fobbed off with poor-quality produce and attitudes

This news came on the same day that it was announced that Mary Portas is to investigate the decline of the High Street. It seems that even the government is concerned with the proliferation of chain stores dominating the shopping landscape. Compare this with the clamour for a Wagamama to open in Edinburgh, the delight when a YO! Sushi appeared at Harvey Nichols or the anticipation of the long-awaited Apple Store.

Selective NIMBYism is rife it seems. It people want things to change then they should stop blaming these stores and start turning their attentions to the reasons that people want to shop there in the first place.

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What have I done?

No, this isn’t related to my impending fatherhood.

Being something of a mullet developer, you won’t really see anything of what I do day-to-day unless I make a mistake. Web designers and front-end developers have their portfolios to show off whereas we back-end developers tend to have little-to-nothing to show for our efforts.

To this end — and to serve as familiarisation with a distributed version control system — I’ve started taking an active interest in GitHub. My first repository contains several classes that together constitute my PHP Utility Belt: functions that I need to have easily to hand for most projects.

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Old media, meet the new

I had the unfortunate experience of attending last nights bad-tempered football match between Hearts and Celtic. The match will mainly be remembered for the moronic actions of one person who saw fit to invade the pitch and attack the Celtic manager. Think what you will of Neil Lennon but this disgusting act can not be explained away easily. The rioting and sectarian singing by the Celtic fans will be soon forgotten.

For reasons I can only guess at, The Scotsman pixelated the images of the idiot attacker’s face whereas every other newspaper I saw today decided to forego this and published them without any censorship. However, the individual did remain unidentified — in print at least.

Meanwhile, circulating on Twitter for all to see, was not only his name but his home address and mobile phone number too. I’d wager that — as well as a lifetime ban from every football ground in the country — a custodial sentence awaits. I certainly would have grave fears for his safety were he allowed to return to his home. That said, prison may not be the safest place for him either.

This comes after the fallout of the Twitter super injunction revelations is still to be fully realised. This privacy-for-those-who-can-afford-it has usually been circumvented and spread by word-of-mouth and in topical forums but now the message can reach literally thousands of people in an instant.

This viral nature of social networks can serve to highlight current global issues. Case in point: the Ugandan homosexual death penalty that has actually been around for years.

Over 150 million messages are now sent on Twitter every single day so active monitoring is not feasible. If things are somehow made more restrictive we must obviously be extremely careful to not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

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Chance would be a fine thing

This is the second post of mine inspired by the WordPress Daily Post blog: “What would change if you were president for a day?”

This would obviously give me a great opportunity to start the Nevolution designed to rid the world of personal annoyances but on a less tongue-in-cheek note, I’d also be able to put policies in place that would affect the lives of others, for the better in my opinion.

I’m not a politician. Among the first things I’d do would be to literally kick George Osborne out of the treasury and then surround myself with smart people who know their stuff. People like Paul Krugman, Michael Geist and Bruce Schneier. People who are not interested in maintaining the status quo or preserving the interests of the rich or themselves.

  • Enshrine net neutrality in law. The freedom and openness of the Internet is probably the single most important thing that has emerged from the past 15 years and it needs to be protected from those who wish to exploit it.
  • Fewer managers, more nurses. The NHS has been decimated in the past decade. PFI hospitals are a financial disgrace where it costs £15 to get a lightbulb changed. Some have attributed the rise of MRSA and other superbugs the private cleaning firms. Let’s give the hospitals back to the nurses and doctors.
  • Legalised assisted suicide.
  • Ditch unelected bishops from the House of Lords and make Iran unique in maintaining this ludicrous position. In fact I’d go further, completely removing religion from politics and limiting it’s influence in education — no more divisive faith schools.
  • Close tax loopholes and make sure that we really are “all in this together”.
  • Put an end to political lobbying or at the very least make it completely transparent. How those with a vested interest and enough money can be seen to influence governments is a disgrace.
  • Implement the Robin Hood tax. It just makes sense. The banks need to make amends.
  • A sustainable fishery policy. Fearnley-Whittingstall’s Fish Fight and the End of the Line documentary have raised the issue but now action needs to be taken.
  • End the disgusting practise of food speculation.
  • More time for home economics and physical education in school — these are the two most important things that children will learn. Obesity is a huge issue: how can children expect to keep healthy if they don’t know how to cook, how to plan their meals for the week or how what they eat affects their body? Parents today either weren’t taught themselves or claim that they don’t have time to cook with their children.
  • Speaking of children, I’d do whatever I could to put a complete stop to their sexualisation by the high street. Children shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up: they should be dressed like children. Unrealistic, airbrushed, unobtainable images of models in newspapers and magazines should be clearly marked as so to further aid in the fight against poor body image.

Obviously there are some populist current views in here and some that won’t be as popular with everyone but, off the top of my head, I think that these are some of the important issues that need to be addressed. I’d also probably need to be emperor of the world to get some of the motions carried and few of them would be fully achievable in one day.

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