The cheesewich

“Many’s the long night I’ve dreamed of cheese – toasted, mostly.”
— Ben Gunn, Treasure Island

Back at the start of the year I stumbled across something I knew just had to try: the all cheese cheese toastie.

I have no idea how to pronounce this, but there is a cheese in Finland called Leipäjuusto (bread cheese) which I thought would be ideal for this recipe. Handily, I know a Finnish girl who very kindly bought some over for me along with a little jar of the wonderfully named Cloudberry jam with which the cheese is traditionally eaten. I’d say that it’s best described as tasting like a mild halloumi.

I’ve long thought that there were (at least) two things that the USA didn’t do well. Namely, chocolate and cheese. Individually wrapped slices of processed, plastic cheese spring to mind. There was no way that I was going to settle for that in my ultimate toastie.

So, off to Mellis’ cheesemongers I popped to pick up some something with a little bite. After some discussion — and a few tastings — I ended up with some really nice Auld Lochnagar for my toastie and a red wine rind washed cheddar for another day.

Now an ordinary cheese toastie fresh from the grill is hotter than the sun. I knew that if I ate this sucker too soon I was running the very real risk of my lower jaw actually melting clean off. I sat and anticipated for five minutes before tackling my snack; salivating like a Pavlovian dog. The wait was well worth it.

Now I’m not going to lie; I felt more than a little funny for about half an hour afterwards. I don’t think that I’ll be trying this again any time soon but I’m glad I experimented — and survived.

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