I received a package at the office today and while I am expecting a new cardigan that my mum has been busy knitting for me at some point, this was obviously not it. It was far too small and heavy for a start. Secondly, looking up the postcode gleaned from the ‘Sender’ label on Google Maps placed the sender somewhere in a field in Hampshire. Thirdly, said sender was somebody who identified themselves only as ‘Donovan’. I briefly thought that an 80s musician was stalking me for some reason before deciding that was simply too bizarre.
I then started thinking that someone may have sent me something that may bring me harm. The next random thought was that my future as supreme being of the planet may just come to pass after all and that this was some kind of Terminator or Valkyrie type plot to get rid of me.
Not having access to a fluoroscope or fume cupboard in which to open it I decided to just proceed carefully. It turns out that there was no need to get carried away. It was a simply jar of Whole Earth crunchy organic peanut butter. I deduced that one of my Twitter followers must have taken pity on me after my rants the other week on the availability of decent peanut butter in the West End of Edinburgh (or lack thereof to be more exact).
This was indeed the case: a belated birthday present. Big thanks Ben!