Believe me, I would have liked to launch into a tirade of full-on, no-holds-barred swearing. The kind of swearing that would make a docker blush. The kind that makes you just feel better about things. But annoyingly, I had to curb it somewhat as there were pesky kids around.
I was having another one of those journeys. 45 minutes sat next to a clearly unbalanced, intoxicated, self-titled “street musician” on a slow running train which resulted in a missed connection and a two hour Guinness-fuelled wait in Preston for the next service to Edinburgh. We then had to endure a full 50 minute stand in Carlise due to the police closing the West Coast mainline after a “situation” arose in Abingdon. Eventually we were diverted via Dumfries and a 20 minute wait in Kilmarnock thanks to the questionable genius of having a single line track.
I have to admit that given the current climate (both political and meteorological) I was half-expecting some form of disruption but this entire sequence of events ended up setting a new record of eight hours and 40 minutes for the standard 200 mile journey which usually takes an average of around four hours.
At least I had my trusty MBP with me, loaded with music and movies which proved to be good distraction from my rumbling stomach. Which was left to rumble as the understocked onboard shop rapidly ran out of provisions – although I did manage to grab the last Mars bar and a can of Heineken. Still at least I had plenty of time to sit and think without the distraction of the Internet – I wasn’t even stranded on a Pendolino.