Despite being somewhat disheartened by reading why I’ll never have a girlfriend I took it as mere setback. Sure enough a random girl swooned at my feet on the way home from work!
Okay, so I may be using a little poetic license there. Let me rephrase that. On the way home from work a drug-addled crack-whore collapsed on the floor in front of me.
Not to fear though as the ever on-the-ball NHS propose to help cure addicts with a voucher scheme. Yes, addicts will be rewarded with a £10 voucher if they stay drug-free for a week. Now I’m wondering where my vouchers are for not getting hooked in the first place?
I worry about the population with the same mentality that makes pregnant teenage girls take up smoking in order to have smaller babies and consequently easier births. Take up a drug habit and get some vouchers to sell on?
Unfortunately it’s not out of the realms of possibility.